


The Broom Closet?

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-05
Updated: 2005-08-05
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:24:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray V eavesdrops on Fraser and Keelian and hears something that he didn't expect.





	The Broom Closet?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

The Broom Closet?

## The Broom Closet?

  
by camcalli  


Disclaimer: These characters except for Keelian, do not belong to me and I make no profit from them.

Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic, so if you review (and I hope you will) please be kind.

Story Notes: Keelian Jamison is my invention. She is Ray's official partner at the 27th and in my world, has been there since the beginnin, sharing the boys adventures. Depending on how this story goes, I may do others involving her.

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Vecchio blinked in surprise as he turned the corner of the corridor and spotted Jack Huey and Louis Giardino bent over next to the door of the men's room. "What the hell are you two doing?" Both men immediately turned to him and hissed, "Shhhh!" They then returned to their previous positions, with their ears pressed against the door. "Shhh what?" "Will you shut up, already?" Louie whispered furiously. "We're trying to listen here." "Listen to what, some guy taking a leak?" "No," Huey said in a low voice, "Hear for yourself." And he scooted over to let Ray put his ear against the door. He immediately heard what sounded like a gasp and then a woman's voice say: "Sorry, did I hurt you?" followed by a man's somewhat strained voice say: "It's alright. Please continue." Ray's eyebrows shot up and Huey and Louie muffled snickers. Ray looked at the two laughing detectives and asked, "They're getting it on?" The detectives both nodded. "In a men's room?" Nods again. "In a police precinct?" More nods. Ray shook his head. "They gotta be nuts." He listened to a few more gasps and mumbled assurances from the woman. "Who is it?" Huey smiled evilly. "Guess." Ray looked at him. "Somebody we know?" Huey nodded again. "Oh, yeah. We know them." Ray pressed his ear closer to the door just in time to hear the man say, "Can you-Ah. Thank you kindly." The Italian detective's eyes bugged out. "Fraser??" The other two men covered their mouths desperately to muffle the laughter. "No way," Ray stated in disbelief. "Who's the woman?" "Your partner." Louie snorted. "Keelian? No way." Ray said again. "Way." Louie returned. "Trust me. I know that voice. I've spent hours dreaming about that voice." Ray listened again, and sure enough that husky, smoky voice sure sounded like his partner. "Your pants are going to have to be undone if you want me to go any further with this. Do you want to unbutton them or do you want me to?" There was a pause then he heard Ben reply somewhat stiffly, " I believe it's best if I not move at this particular moment. If you wouldn't mind?" "Of course," Keelian replied. "Can you shift a little? I can't quite-okay. Good. Now sit up straight. Straighter. That's good, right there." A pause, a stifled gasp from Fraser and then, "Is that tight enough?" "Tighter, please." Fraser's voice sounded strained, as if he was clenching his teeth. "Are you sure?" Keelian's voice was even huskier than usual. "I'm certain. As tight as you can, please." "Alright, Ben, but I'm not sure I can get it any tighter." Ray bit his knuckle in agony. He shouldn't be listening to this. He shouldn't be letting Huey and Louie listen to this, but Jesus, who'd have thought that the Mountie and his partner would be having sex, and in a men's room, for Christ's sake. He didn't even know anything was going on between them. Well, sure, he'd seen the looks and the reactions to slight touches, felt the sexual tension, so he'd known that they were attracted to each other, but he didn't think either of them would act on it. Fraser was just too shy and Keelian was dead set against mixing work and relationships. And, okay, he'd been kind of hoping they'd get together, he'd even teased them each about it. But, he didn't think it would really happen. The three of them worked well together. How was this going to change the dynamics of the relationship? Was he going to have to endure watching groping and sappy looks now? Ray groaned inwardly. If they got into fights, would they pout? Would they drag him into it? Try to make him take sides? He winced. Worse, what if they broke up? Would they split up the team? God, this was terrible. He heard a groan and thought it was him, until he felt Huey shaking with laughter against his shoulder and tuned back into the conversation going on in the bathroom. "God, Ben! Sorry. I know that hurt. I'm so sorry, but I'm not very good at this. I've only done it once before and it was certainly under different circumstances." The three eavesdropping detectives exchanged wide-eyed stares. "You're doing just fine, Keelian. I greatly appreciate this." "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have this done professionally?" "No, thank you kindly. I don't believe a professional will be required." "Christ!" Louie whispered. "The Mountie's even polite during sex." "What are you three doing?" All three detectives jumped and then hissed, "Shhhh!" Elaine, the precinct's civillian aid raised her eyebrow. "What are you listening too?" she asked again. "Jamison." Huey replied. "Jamison? What's Keelian doing in the men's room?" Elaine questioned. "Not what, who." Giardino snickered. "Who's she doing in the men's roo-oh!" Elaine began in confusion and then her eyes widened in comprehension. "No!" "Yes!" The three men replied. The civilian aide nudged them over. "Make room." They shuffled until all four of them were able to press their ears against the door. "Who's she in there with?" "The Mountie." "What?! Fraser?" Elaine looked shocked, and then mildly disappointed. "Damn." "Shhh. They're talking again." Giardino whispered. The foursome stopped talking again to listen. There was another sharp inhalation of air and then what sounded distinctly like a growl. "Shh, baby, it's okay." They heard Keelian croon. More looks were exchanged amongst the eavesdroppers. "Did Fraser just growl?" Giardino asked. "I believe so." Ray replied, somewhat in disbelief. Elaine sighed dreamily. "It's always the quiet ones that turn into animals in bed." The three men gave her a strange look. She put her fingers over her lips and turned back to the door. "Can you move your arm? I can't quite reach-okay. That should do it." There was a rustle of clothing and then Keelian's voice again. "How does that feel?" "Better. Much better. I thank you kindly." "Oh, my pleasure. Anything else?" Before they could hear Fraser's reply, there was the sound of throat being cleared behind them. Loudly. With trepidation, the four turned to see Lieutenant Walsh standing behind them with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot. "Gentlemen. Elaine." "Sir." "Lieutenant." Came the jumbled replies. "May I inquire into what three of my detectives and my civilian aide are doing kneeling on the floor outside the men's restroom?" "Ah." Ray thought furiously. Somebody was about to get busted. Should he let Benny and Keelian get it, or should he take one for the team? Calling himself a stupid romantic, he opened his mouth to direct Walsh's ire onto himself when Giardino made the decision for him. "It's Fraser and Jamison, sir. They're in the bathroom together." "Yes, Detective. I am aware of this. How does this concern you?" "You're aware of it? And you don't care?" Ray asked in disbelief. Walsh turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, Vecchio. Not only am I aware of it, I'm the one who suggested the location." "You what?" Giardino blurted, hastily tacking on a respectful, "Sir." "The men's room, sir?" Ray questioned. "Well, they were going to do it at your desk, Vecchio, but I figured that they would need water to wash up some and suggested the restroom. The men's room seemed slightly more appropriate than having Fraser in the ladies room and Jamison assured me that she didn't mind." "Appropriate, sir?" Huey asked. "Yes, Detective." Walsh looked around at all of them. "I'm sure that if any of you gentlemen need to use the facilities, they wouldn't mind you going in. Although, out of consideration for Detective Jamison, I would hope that you'd use a stall instead of the urinals." There were more looks of disbelief exchanged, and then as one man, the three detectives fought to open the door. Ray almost closed his eyes, not certain he really wanted to see his partner and Benny like this, but this was just too good. The sight before him certainly caused his jaw to drop. "What the hell?" Standing before him, leaning up against one of the sinks, was a shirtless Fraser. Standing next to him, was Keelian, in the process of wiping off his temple. Fraser's wolf was lying on the floor next to their feet, his eyes focused protectively on Fraser, and even as Ray watched, Dieffenbaker let out a low growl. Keelian rubbed his side with her foot, absently. "Shh. Easy, Dief. It's okay, I'm not hurting him on purpose." Ray registered the white bandages wrapped around Fraser's torso, the blood staining the cloth in Keelian's hand, and the open First Aid kit sitting on the counter next to them. "Oh." "Ray." Fraser said, nodding politely. "Leftenant Walsh. Detective Huey, Detective Giardino. Elaine." "Ben, hold your head still so I can clean this cut." Keelian mumbled around the cotton swab she was holding in her teeth. Huey and Giardino looked crestfallen. Elaine looked a little relieved. "What's going on?" Ray asked. "I got hit by a car." Fraser explained, trying not to move his head. "I didn't want to go to a hospital, so Keelian very kindly offered to assist with my injuries." "He got hit by a car." Huey said. "She's assisting with his injuries." Giardino stated flatly. The two looked at each other again. "Damn it. Nothing good ever happens around here." The two walked out of the bathroom, shoulders slumped in disappointment. Fraser looked a little confused. "You got hit by a car? Oh, you poor thing." Elaine soothed, staring with fascination at Fraser's shirtless chest. "Are you alright?" "Yes, thank you kindly, Elaine. Just a few contusions and abrasions." Fraser replied, flushing slightly at her obvious interest. "Contusions, my ass," Keelian muttered, dabbing at the cut with antiseptic. She automatically blew on it when Fraser winced. He blushed again. "How are you feeling, Constable?" Walsh inquired. "Fine, sir. Thank you for asking." "Good to hear. Are you certain you don't want to go to the hospital?" "Oh, no, Leftenant. I hardly think a hospital is required. I am certain my ribs are only slightly bruised." Keelian ran her hand gently over the wrappings, stopping when Fraser sucked in his breath sharply. "And I'm pretty certain that at least one of them is cracked." "I would disagree." Fraser replied his voice slightly strained. "It's up to you, Constable." Walsh said, "Just let me know if you change your mind and we'll have someone take you." He gestured to the door. "After you, Elaine." The civilian aide tore her eyes away from Fraser's chest with some difficulty and, pouting slightly, followed the Lieutenant out the door. "You sure you're okay, Benny?" Ray asked, after the door had swung closed. "Yes, Ray. I'm fine. Thank you kindly for asking." Ray shook his head. Here was the Mountie, banged up and bruised, and he was pretty sure that his partner was right, and he was sporting some cracked ribs, and he was thanking Ray for asking after him. Canadians. Now that Ray thought about it, he should have known that there was no way Benny would have been having sex in a bathroom of a police precinct. He didn't even know if the Mountie had sex, but he was willing to bet if he did, it was straight missionary, in a bed, with the lights out. The Mountie was just too polite for anything else. Apparently some of his thoughts had showed on his face, cause Benny looked confused. "Did you find something amusing, Ray?" "No," Ray snorted out a laugh. "Well, yeah, but you don't want to know." Benny smiled. "I certainly do, Ray. I believe amusement may distract me from the slight pain caused by my bruised ribs" Ray tried to hold back another snicker, and snorted again. "Spill it, Vecchio, before you choke yourself." Keelian said as she fixed a bandage to Fraser's forehead with tape. What the hell, Ray decided. They'd probably think it was funny too. He snickered again." Well, it's just that, I was walking past the door, and Huey and Giardino were standing next to it, and we could hear you guys, but we couldn't see what you were doing, and well, it just kind of sounded like..." he trailed off, realizing that this probably wasn't a good idea, judging by the look on Keelian's face. "Never mind." "No, Ray. Continue. It sounded like what," Benny asked. Apparently he hadn't figured it out yet. Trying to ignore the furious glare coming from his partner, Ray scratched his jaw uncomfortably. "Well, you kept making this gasping noise, and Keelian was talking about getting it tighter, and well...." "And well what, Ray?" Keelian asked, her green eyes shooting sparks across the room. "You thought, what? That we were having sex? Right here?" Fraser's face started to burn and seeing his embarrassment, Keelian only got madder. "That maybe he had me up against the wall? Or maybe we were on the floor. Not very clean. Maybe we were on the sink." She shoved down on it as if testing the strength. "Hmmm. I don't know if it would hold our weight. Or, I know, maybe I was just going down on him, right here, in the men's room. While all you fine gentleman listened at the door. Is that what you thought, Ray?" Ray's face was almost as red as Fraser's. "Well, you had to hear what it sounded like from outside." "Well, Ray, apparently you don't think much of my taste." Keelian said quietly, packing up the medical supplies. Fraser shot her a shocked, hurt look. She was insulted at the idea anyone would think she wanted to be intimate with him? Keelian walked towards the door, pushed it open, and paused. "As if I would have picked the men's room to seduce Fraser. We use the broom closet. Come on, Dief." She snapped her fingers and left, followed closely by the wolf. Ray closed his mouth with a snap and turned to look at the Mountie. Fraser was still red and wouldn't meet his eyes. "The broom closet? That was a joke, right? She was joking. Wasn't she?" Fraser cleared his throat nervously. "I'm afraid I can't answer that, Ray. It wouldn't be chivalrous." He bent stiffly to retrieve his shirt and started out the door, followed by Ray's voice. "Again with the chivalry thing! Just tell me if it was a joke. She was kidding, right? You two don't really... right? Benny? Fraze? Fraser? The broom closet!!"  
  


  
 

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End The Broom Closet? by camcalli 

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